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And then I'll be writing for me again. We got to go to a bar and play pool!!!!! Then I completly understand. And John F. Kennedy (JFK) was an alien bent on global domination. I know where you are right now! It was bad enough that I was forced to "volunteer" my precious time (i could have worked on this site)noI was forced to wear formal attire. You CANNOT DENY it! You can't blame me. And still frustrated. *sniffle* I feel so sorry for you! He can deactivate the machines, (squidies) but at great personal cost. The previous sentence made absolutly no sense. Wal-mart TV is evil. Founder @ World's Best Story amplifier of creativity & fun! I usually have less than 30 minutes. Did you know that I now possess a DOMAIN NAME? 4. To think, YOU are trying to tell ME that YOU aren't here. My calculator is nifty. Right now, I'm just typing so that no one can say that I've been slacking off. Or maybe not. And today's rant is a sort of philosophical one. Said order will in no way be held responsible for any damages, injuries, loss of life, limb, head, or organs. It's early. 8 min ago Josh wants his thought back. If you can spare any of these items, please e-mail them to me. It's wrong, I tell you. I'm goin' light on the advertising at the moment, which is why I'm free to write here. I wonder what it's name would be. Subscribe!function(m,a,i,l,s,t,e,r){m[s]=m[s]||(function(){t=a.createElement(i);r=a.getElementsByTagName(i)[0];t.async=1;t.src=l;r.parentNode.insertBefore(t,r);return !0}())}(window,document,'script','https://www.openculture.com/wp-content/plugins/mailster/assets/js/button.min.js','MailsterSubscribe'); 2006-2023 Open Culture, LLC. I'm back! the whole time, even during the name-calling, seniors were playing with silly string and beachballs. I mean, come on! Soair pressure can be a good thing. Not only that, but It also displays the longest sentence used in the text and the number of characters and words in the sentences. You wanna try to convince me I'M crazy? But it's not. OF FREAKIN' COURSE IT WAS FREE! responsible for any faulty wiring or lack thereof in your computer. HenceforthCode: 666 of the Flaming Chickens Handbook states that under no circumstance will the Patron Saint of Paper Clips (guess who) be forced to wear anything other than a t-shirt and preferably black jeans. I've always known that I was weird, that's always been a given. But I can't think of anything to write about. For an ENTIRE MONTH I have possesed the arcane knowledge, but I forgot to share it with you, my loyal potentially imaginary reader. Perhaps their just trying to be nice. Doesn't that make you feel better? Although there are many lengthy monologues and multi-line descriptions in literature, the chapter from American author William Faulkner 's 1936 novel Absalom, Absalom! As Neo realizes all of this, through a nearly omniscient Architect of the Matrix, he makes another choice. Once upon a terribly dreadful time, there was a small cat-licking bird that lived on a lane by my house whose name was Charles just like every other soul, male or female, that lived on my smelly, stinky, orange, old, rotten, messy, busted cul-de-sac between . Ketchup: The only food that you'll want to eat after traveling to the 5th Dimension. As long as you don't mind a few more couch potatoes. You could travel in a straight line at the speed of light for a million years and all you'd prove is that the universe is really, really big. We resumed quizzing and she got every question on the worksheet correct. You don't know either? You don't belong here. As long as I'm happy, right. You thought you'd gotten rid of me. | 14.35 KB, We use cookies for various purposes including analytics. G. (f(t)) d(t) = - Here is the same long equation with a single equation number. While. Just like a real psychologist. Some of the pages of this site contain a link encouging the two and a half people to e-mail the Patron Saint of Paper Clips. People need to make the time to waste time. Enjoy! (Believe me, though, you never want to see me driveI get easily distracted by clouds and signs saying FREE KITTIES!kitties are hugablebut if you hug themthey'll scratch your eyes outso then you have to hiss at them and establish dominencebut kitties don't like thateven though dogs dobut kitties are obviously not dogseven though they are fuzzy.) I knowyou are as shocked as I am. I will just type, and type, and never, ever use copy and paste. The following is everything I wrote during that sugar-coated time period. I was bored, and a dilligent reader suggested I make fake commercials, sotherer they are. The sleeping person will gradually get used to it (and incorporate it into their dreams). I'm back! | 0.47 KB, Python | Physics is so FREAKIN' hard! Sad to admit, but the majority of people would rather read the summary at the back of a book rather than the whole book itself. (There's probably drugs in it). I just don't know. In any case, I hope you enjoyed our patheticness. I was alerted to this growing problem in our world community by (Kat, the ruler of all that is almondy)and it greatly concerns me. And then the quality will rise. Sothe plan is going to fail. Who'da thought it? It's annoying. Needless to say, I felt right at home. Most likely they test it BEFORE they add the extra stuff"Yep, Bob, this is some mighty pure water." I can just see the whole community rising to thwart my attempts to spread love, joy and insane chaos. And insanity. by the time I had to do my part (tell people where to stand before getting their diploma) it was dark. Okay, fill out the TAB form, so I have proof that you bothered to come here anduhI'lluhsend you a sandwich? What ever shall I do? Try it. Maybe you're lost. Oh, and when my sister had to go to the bathroom very badly during a traffic jam, my mother had the good taste to making hissing/water noises to make my sister's problem worse. Wasn't that semi-entertaining? Or his mom did. Back to the present. NowI know what you guys are thinkingsome of those items on that list are gonna be hard to find. The movie ends with him in a coma. Gee, I hope not! I hate Math. So my dad picked a steak place. WE have been having very profound thoughts lately. Everyone, clap for "Meg".I gotta goseeya later! I think. Because this is the first time I've been on a computer all day. Maybe we're just really, really tired and had sugar. That's exactly what tanning is like. Jonathan Coes The Rotters Clubends with a 33-page long whopper with 13,955 words in it. Unfortuantly, we had already driven 337 miles toward our destination. I once*embarassed pause* had "Hey, You! Now, wasn't that entertainment. That means my pointless obsession has actually entertained someone besides me! Good. One day the chief sent his servants everywhere to find a good story-teller. When you look at them they are identical to the evil little Cheez-Its. And he knew so many stories that sometimes he stopped the story-teller and finished the story himself. I sincerely appologize if anyone is offended by my view of memorization. e)My psychotic bunny predicted I'd die doing it. Typical. Or not. Anyway, today's rant is about one of my many and various pet peeves: fasion andstuff. Later that day, she decided we were NOT going north, we were going south to a beach resort. and even if they could it wouldn't do them any good because it would scare them instead of the aformentioned individual. Only if I had multiple personalities. "Mr. Owl, can you tell us how many licks does it take to get to the bottom of a tootsie pop?" But that's the kind of thing I like. I was very proud of her, just as you would be proud of a two-year-old who has just announced: "I WENT POO-POO ON THE POTTY!!!!!" After all, I'm not in this line of buisness for the fame, fortune and power. Or have I been doing that too much lately? Hmmmmintersting. The number of characters in the longest word is also shown. Or perhaps not. My mom and my stupid little 10-year old sister loves it, though. "angry mob form"? I'm gonna quote from the FLAMING CHICKENS HANDBOOK again! Now you may be wondering what horrible beast is Moose's arch-enemy. For that theory to work, I'd have to be psychicor in possesion of a freaky time-traveling computer. ON TO THE CONPIRACY OF THE DAY! This has been my hourly Public Service Announcement that I only do when I feel like it. Anyway, I still don't think that anyone is actually coming here. It's been practically proven that Ketchup transforms into a highly intoxicating (non-addictive) delicious substance upon returning from the 5th Dimension. I don't care if I have to ride the bus home if I stop work. Today I will be mercifully brief. Now MY brain meats feel explody. MY SPINE IS SQUISHY! That would explain that annoying green little blinkie light in them. The following is an extremely weird poem-thingy that I wrote when I was in a relatively weird mood: never mind that noise my dear can anyone pass the cheese only if you say pretty please oh, boy do I have to sneeze. BYE!!! Did you really think I'd give you guys my ADDRESS? HA! Last night I was super-charged with lots of sugar and not a lot of sleep. He then leaves them under his owners car. You got me started. *gagged reader glares* What's that? The workers would then be able to afford more entertainment items and the upward spiral would continue, as opposed to the evil downward spiral of my writing. And #5: You can give each of your pets several weird names such as: Ringling-Raison-Bailey-Suzana-Midnight-Schultz, Squirell, Moose, Moose-Moose, Moosey-Moose, Linzey-Moose, Muffin, Squirell-Muffin, Yabby-Doodle, Abby Normal, Wiggle-Baby, Wiggle-Muffin, Witle-Baby, Cheese-Monkey, Muffin-With-Squirell-Juice, Squirell-With-Muffin Juice, Moosey-Juice, Squirell-Monkey, etc. Sometimes I just do this, you know? You remember my Moose's arch-enemy, don't you? I think. The researches even used highly advanced technololgy to map the surface of a pancake and compare it to documented geology of Kansas. I definitly mistrust lots of stuff. CHECK OUT MY ARMPITS!!! Are you tired. If you're following along, and not completly confused, you'll realize that it is better to be a pessimist than an optomist. > You have blue hari..*gigles* I like hair. Anyway, sorry for the lack of relative weirdness, conspiracy theories and doughnuts (my Moose ate them all). So, I've decided that Moose works for some secret government organization, and that the feather is the key to the destruction of the world, and I am just blithely letting it enter our home, so that it may furthur its evil plans to destroy the universe. Anyway, gotta go! The very next day, she decided that we were going north, after all. Read that onetime longest sentence in literature, all 1,288 words of it, below. Soif you wish to contribute to this great and magneficent and magestic and MOOSEY projectwe need the following things: 739 rolls of aluminium foil (preferably the extra shiny kind) 417 refridgerator boxes, 9000 rolls of "sticky on both sides" duct tape, 300 lbs of chicken feathers (preferably white) and 1 (one) thermo-nuclear-rocket-thruster. Sometimes, it is lazy. [9] [10] [11] See also [ edit] Longest word in English Longest words References [ edit] ^ a b Stephen Crain; Diane Lillo-Martin (1999). Time for another quote from the FLAMING CHICKEN HANDBOOK!!! If iI fill out the fake tab form I'm gonna have to put back as my favorite wordI already have filled it out, though. Now, I'm sure you've at least heard of subliminal messages , right? HA-HA! With our patented "spray". My mother visited relatives. It's not fair, ya know? I don't have much of a choice about the whole work thing. That's what they need to do with the water. I have heard some feedback suggesting that I make someway for people to remember where they stopped reading. Hmmmmmwhat is this world coming to? Hello, everyone! d)I already did that in a past life and it sucked. And if you expect something and get nothing, you feel cheated. Isn't that like a slang term for an insult? Is your school playground a gateay to the underworld? What I liked best was the philosophy on choices. Because there are an infinite number of people on either side of the spectrum. MEOW!MEOW!MEOW! Like organ grinders, and the evil conspiracies. I have neither won nor lost money/neopoints. Which is what I do best. That is the only possible explanation as to why it upsets her so much. *sigh* There are no topics anywhere near me. Why can't I have more readers?! Even if I put it in a less chaotic, more user-friendly format people would still ignore this because it involves: reading. The form link is to a 100% fake TAB registration form that you can fill out just for laughs. (Actually I just question them untill they spontaneously combust, I ask lots of questions) So, in conclusion, ladies and gentleman of the jury(that's you) I could not have possibly tortured "Mr. Owl" to death. I sure hope other zoos won't copy them. Maybe they're here right now! Uhyou don't have to take the subliminal stuff seriously. I get done at 9:15. Just wait a sec while I stop the music. Who would have thought I have this much free time? Then you'll see these cute little "days-of-the-week" earrings at the mall, and you'll just have to get a few sets, just in case you lose some. Unsubscribe at any time. Sentences can also be extended by recursively embedding clauses one into another, such as[2][3], This also highlights the difference between linguistic performance and linguistic competence, because the language can support more variation than can reasonably be created or recorded. You know the one. After a horrific chain of events (is it coincidence, or fate) the people who will deactivate the secondary power source of the building Neo is infiltrating, die. That meant only one corse of action for them. And that's just what I can list from memory. There is a world where you are a faerie. I'm so special. It's amazing, it's incredible, it's unbelievable. They started shaking and barked their little heads off. Oh, well. This seemed slightly unpracticle, so we ended up not taking that 337 mile detour. Or maybe you're just skimming. Some of my pages have stuff written in to make search engines recognize me, but it doesn't seem to be working. *enter Squirell* What's that, little Squirell? Yea*waits for applause* okay! If you expect nothing, and get nothing, you feel nothing. But, act now, or it will be too late, and you will be one of the losers that we'll be laughing at, assuming we have air to laugh with. Of course, there is also regretafter all, I could have made a fortune if I'd been the first to think of it. So rather than battle her over the concept of getting dressed in the dark, I get up. Honestly, the more time I waste playing the game, the less time I'll work on this site and the less stuff you gotta read. Now think of 100 people typing randomly. Why, that would be insane, wouldn't it? Today, I took a long look at this site, which is the acomplishment of almost a year of work. Or he can try to save Trinity and doom mankind. THe cake was good. You must be pretty bored, too. This would have resulted in the deaths of numerous pedistriansand I would still probably be wondering around in search of a McDonalds. After all, look how long this text is. At least her's makes sensesort of. Next thing you know, you're internet connection will die. I mean, I don't think I could afford a monkey, and I'm not exactly on the streets. No matter how unlikely something is, if the universe is infinite, it's happening an infinite number of times. You'll wear these "festive" earings for about a day and then abandon them in some dark cranny of your closet because you simply can't wear the same earrings two years in a row for heaven's sake! **** THAT LIPSTICKS THE WRONG COLOR FOR YOU!! Well, I dont want to organize this page, in any manner. I love it! ", and translated it to German. Do you care? Unless we spray-painted the snow purple, too. But that is false! Because in some world, the video game is real. Pure means, well, no extra stuff. When I play a gambling game, there is a possibility that I'll lose everything, so I start on negative however much NP I have with me. You cannot deny it. I needs the duct tape! It took him to my quiz page. What? But without the bad sound track. And now, for the million-dollar question: How many calories are there in a single serving of Mustard? Next to the Really Big Button, of course. I probley wouldn't actually print this out (think how much paper it would take!) But the point is, if I were, say, freakily allergic to a random mineral, I could read the ingredients and not eat the salt. It's time to warn you, the viewererreaderabout the evils of various stuff. I love my work, I love the kids I work with. Once I got this computer, I decided to do something similar on my beloved site. Gotta goI think I hear a catchy jingle. Then he preceeded to trash my room, scattering kleenex everywhere. my dear theres nothing to fear thats only a box thats made of blocks next to the wagon that looks like a dragon why are you shaking its your fear that is making you shiver and act all a quiver. I SEE WHAT IS TRANSPIRING HERE!!! And not so cheesed off about the whole tootsie roll pop thing. Too bad. I think. Then, when I win 500 additional np, I move to the 500np point. WAIT JUST A POLYP PICKING MINUTE!! And more than slightly embarassed. It just sounded very professional to say it. Why, because they assume it's better quality. AND I DONT BLAME YOU!! What makes them undesirable for pie? You say it didn't let you out? Now I'm back. Those are the best kind. They aint whupped us yit, air they? this Jones who after the demon rode away with the regiment when the granddaughter was only eight years old would tell people that he was lookin after Majors place and niggers even before they had time to ask him why he was not with the troops and perhaps in time came to believe the lie himself, who was among the first to greet the demon when he returned, to meet him at the gate and say, Well, Kernel, they kilt us but they aint whupped us yit, air they? who even worked, labored, sweat at the demons behest during that first furious period while the demon believed he could restore by sheer indomitable willing the Sutpens Hundred which he remembered and had lost, labored with no hope of pay or reward who must have seen long before the demon did (or would admit it) that the task was hopeless-blind Jones who apparently saw still in that furious lecherous wreck the old fine figure of the man who once galloped on the black thoroughbred about that domain two boundaries of which the eye could not see from any point. And secret? Dum-B-Gon stimulates brain activity, making you up to 10 times smarter! I recently learned in my EVIL Physics class that on average, humans lose one inch of height during the day due to gravity pushing on their spine. TWO MILES? Get the best cultural and educational resources on the web curated for you in a daily email. So it doesn't matter. As you may or may not know, small children swarm the ice cream trucks. Remember: if the show sucks, it's their fault, not ours! you will all suffer as i have suffered when and if you graduate. Lots of people spoke. Seeyahmmm..I wonder if there's subliminal stuff in my computerI'm back. You know, the small, white feather. Butthat'd be a lot of work, unlike ranting, raving and rambling. theni got to go stand while people said a lot of stuff. Either way, he got assasinated. This highly experimental and abstract piece was published in a series of volumes beginning in 2007, with the final 19 volumes being published in 2008. Hits all right. They avoided the sun at all costs. HOW ARE YOU DOING? OrI could just continue to write about finding a topic. I tell people I know about this site, but they either ignore this page, or don't even bother coming to the site in the first place. ME: My vicious, psychotic, flesh-eating bunny-rabbit wants to rule the world. 16 min ago Her enemy is a fake Yorkshire Terrior (same species as her) made entirely out of goat hair. I put hyphens in both of his titlesit must be a conspiracy! Should you refuse to aknowledge the Patron Saint of Paper Clips as the ruler of the Internet, you will be subjected to punishment as stated in Code 343 of the Flaming Chicken Handbook (i.e. Bye! I'll add a link to the main page when I get around to it. Because what you're saying is that I'm talking to people in the future. Just make sure you "spray" your food first. I'm back. Yeah. And, once again, I have proof that someone actually took the time (two hours) to read this entire Longest Text Ever! I get home from work at 5:30p.m. Have you ever had the evil pop-up that says that if you click here, it'll get rid off all the annoying pop-ups? If I did, would I stop this? Then I realized that the buldozer already HAD been invented. I'm still peeved about the cartoon owl from the Tootsie Roll Pop commercials. I'm going. And lots of you are probably gloating 'cause you don't have to get up 'till 8:30. . I sure am. Here, see if you can find the super-secret message! c)I have an extremly irrational fear of that. I'd probably lose money, but the concept is interesting. UNDER SUCH EXTREME HEAT, WEAR AND DEGRADATION IS INEVITABLE!! Or, if I was weirder than I am, I could at least kill the monkey with the organ and eat it. I don't want year-round classes. Unfortunatly, I once again am devoid of a topic. For more information, e-mail EnpuUnknown@msn.com Wellseeya! Until thenI have absolutly no imaginary money. As a member, you'll join us in our effort to support the arts. You'd have to be an absolute loser (or really bored) to come here. Okay, if you want to get out, click the little refresh button, okay? Apparently this page really is getting long, because my friend said something to that effect. Needless to say, we ignored her. Thank the powers that be for spell-check. Another thing that bothers me is organ grinders. My family has always bought Cheez-Its, to the point of making me physically sick at the thought of eating one. She immediatly replied "Clara Barton". But how, may I ask, can you find the end of the FREAKIN' universe? Anyway, yeah, I'm a furry, but since I'm a young furry, I can't really do as much as I would like to do in the fandom. It's an honest question as I fear that my non-gender specific sibling is weird. Isnt' that nice? Sonaturally I put her arch-enemy in my pocket and brought it home with me. That makes complete and total sense! 'I found nothing else to do but to offer him on of my good Swede's ship's biscuits I had in my pocket'" And we're supposed to be GOOD in English! According to someone you problem don't know, this is the second most pointless website ever! I'll rant and rave and ramble about the EVILS of sunlight. To support Open Cultures educational mission, please consider, When William Faulkner Set the World Record for Writing the Longest Sentence in Literature: Read the 1,288-Word Sentence from, 100+ Online Degree & Mini-Degree Programs. They associated tans with hard, manuel labor. I bet it does. Why am I writing? OH, DON'T YOU SEE THE TOENAILS?!! They aint whupped us yit, air they? this Jones who after the demon rode away with the regiment when the granddaughter was only eight years old would tell people that he was lookin after Majors place and niggers even before they had time to ask him why he was not with the troops and perhaps in time came to believe the lie himself, who was among the first to greet the demon when he returned, to meet him at the gate and say, Well, Kernel, they kilt us but they aint whupped us yit, air they? who even worked, labored, sweat at the demons behest during that first furious period while the demon believed he could restore by sheer indomitable willing the Sutpens Hundred which he remembered and had lost, labored with no hope of pay or reward who must have seen long before the demon did (or would admit it) that the task was hopeless-blind Jones who apparently saw still in that furious lecherous wreck the old fine figure of the man who once galloped on the black thoroughbred about that domain two boundaries of which the eye could not see from any point. as many times as possible before you splattered your brains on the rocks, all the while listening to a soundtrack that is similar to a dying ceiling fan. Does it serve an obvious purpose? Pastebin . For instance, I wrote: "I am the Crazy Taco! Number Ten: This is the list that never ends. Plus, I am horrible at spelling. My point is that smoke detectors have very little value in home security. With a shake, the future is revealed! SHE has to get up at 6:11 to put on make-up, do her hair and basically annoy the heck out of me. RISE UP AND BARE YOUR BISCUIT FILTY FANGS AT THE LEASH WIELDING DEMON!! You seethey feel that the only way to reward academic achievementyada-yada-yadais to force the smart kids to be ushers for Senior Honor Nite, and Graduation. I won't be able to feed my various imaginary pets and friends their beloved imaginary food! But I'm sure that if I just would have put my mind to it, I could have done it. Good-bye. Anyway, I promise to go back to my usual routine the next time I rant here. I can appreciate a spiffy black outfit as much as the next person, but everytime I consider actually buying clothes for aesthetic value, I think about how I could better spend my money. However . It takes patience to read, but once you get into the rhythm, its like delving into Faulkners stream of consciousness. I'm pretty sure that the "smelly yellow ball" that he started throwing was his own feces (poo). Especially since I just saw The Matrix: Reloaded. That doesn't make any senseyou can't BE something abstractcan you? claims no knowledge as to where that particullary nasty rumor started, but confirms that this is the best site ever. 189,819 Letters Yes, that number is correct. (Though whether it was the tan or the skimpy suits, no one will ever know.) Or what if you took big ol' slobbery licks? I HAVE POWERS PINTO BEANS CAN ONLY DREAM OF! Then I wait for my mom and dad to stop playing Collapse II so that I can get on. Well, too bad! And I promise not to force you to live when you would rather die. So here it is! In the mean time, I'll just sit here and type with my eyes closed. All rights reserved. EryeahI'm back. Is this getting confusing to you? But then I listened to some of the new music I put on my site and mellowed out. I'm back. This annoyed my mother further, untill she asked, no, demanded that my father turn the car around so that we could go home. WAIDAMINIT!! She agrees, but only after seeing how important it is to him. I'm back. That way, she can pass the test without actually learning anything. !STARE DEEP INTO THE STINKING ABYSS OF MY INDIVIDUALLY WRAPPED SLICES!!! You are deviousI give you that. Welltwo can play by THOSE rules. It is the extraordinary sensory quality of his prose that enabled Faulkner to get away with writing the longest sentence in literature, at least according to the 1983 Guinness Book of World Records, a passage from Absalom, Absalom! Think about it. Death is like life in that after you die some things start life again inside of you. Wellbetter go before one of my two and half sane readers falls asleep:) Seeya! the longest thing that I have ever wrote was a 600 word paragraph and I just wrote that. It would be a sin against humanity for a better site to exist. Good for it. So, fellow conspiracy nuts: Take down the evil governmental safety device and take it apart. 12083 is a mid length novelette. -works best on pc/laptop. My mother tried to order a mushroom-swiss burgeronly to discover that the place had no swiss-cheese. Back to the original topic! The end is not here. Oh, by the way, I was paid a decent compliment today. And I wonder where my little sister gets her annoyingness. I mean, after all, I made this site. This sentence is the longest. Just "imagine" I have more!? (*%$ WHAT THE %$#@ WAS MY MOTHER $#$#%$# THINKING!!!!!!!???? I'm just bored. I probley should have capitalized something, or underlined but I'm feeling lazyhey, you try to keep your two and a half readers happy! So if you're not most people, you've made it down this far without skipping, skimming or getting the spark notes version. What if, eventually, Earth's gravity get's very very strong, and we all imploud from the squishyness? Air pressure. I only know that I'm entertaining me, which was my original goal. In otherwords, she's a small yappy dog who is big for her breed. HmmmmI suppose I should clarify that the Pikachu game was 3-D and your character was in first person mode(you see through character's eyes). Wellprepare to be enlightened. We got there, we ate. And very concerned about this new, younger generation (all 10 year olds who were born in 1992) They are supposed to be the future. This Book Is the Longest Sentence Ever Written and Then Published (2020), by humor writer Dave Cowen, consists of one sentence that runs for 111,111 words, and is a stream of consciousness memoir. (adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({}); Image by Carl Van Vechten, via Wikimedia Commons. HA! They expand your mind, making you think about all the things they could do.